Now that the whole subprime mortgage mess is behind us, it’s good to see the banks demonstrating fiscal restraint.
Just last week, I got a letter inviting me to sign up for a new MasterCard.
Now, no offence MasterCard, but everyone knows you’re the ugly, untalented child of credit cards. The smelly one with bad skin, a cleft palate and club foot. The…well, you get the picture.
Just as I was about to toss the application, I noticed I’d been pre-approved for $100,000. Put another way, that’s about a thousand times the GDP of Iceland. Cha-ching!
I started thinking of all the fine wines, fur coats, and four-bedroom bungalows I could buy. I imagined myself rubbing shoulders with The Donald, or at least The Situation.
But then the market went and put a damper on my dreams.
It seems a little place called Greece is in danger of bringing down the entire E.U. And Spain and Portugal are rumoured to be in similar straits.
The good news is, it’s all sorted now. Over the weekend, the E.U. approved a trillion dollar bail-out of Greece’s economy. That’s trillion, with a “t.”
Marco Annunziata, Chief Economist of Italy’s UniCredit Group, called the package “Shock and Awe Part II, with a much bigger budget and a more impressive array of special effects.”
Watch for “Shock and Awe II” for Playstation later this fall.
Like a heroin addict who just scored, this latest injection of taxpayers’ cash sent the markets to new heights; the Canadian dollar shot up two cents within hours.
Which makes it the perfect time to pick out some Louboutin pumps, and put them on my new Diamond-encrusted MasterCard.
Something tells me this could be the party to end all parties.